also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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