Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
