You're so nebulous sometimes
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
