We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
