Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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