he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
