We're like a lot better than the average bears
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
