sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
