So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
