Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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