woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
false alarm, still single
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
