when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
