yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
