and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
how drunk are you?
Several
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
