No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
