i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
where does the pee come out of this thing
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
