Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
