he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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