All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
