I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
