also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
