can we get nightvision for the apartment?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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