What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
