Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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