Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
