he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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