I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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