I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize