So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize