Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I party with great urgency now.
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