It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
