Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
