explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
