I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
