Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
