Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
