After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
