I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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