Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
soo... how was my night?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
