I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
