I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize