I love black thongs
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize