Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
