so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
