My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
