That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
