We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
