you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
