Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
