I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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