Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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