i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The power of my boobs compel you
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
