College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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