well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
