To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
