i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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