No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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