Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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