you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
