I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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