how can u be prego again
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
