hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
