At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
