Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
